When you’ve agreed to be a bridesmaid, it’s more than just an honorary title you’re taking on. Yes, you might have been chosen because you’re the closest woman in the world to the bride. But it’s also because she trusts you to be able to do what’s necessary. It’s about more than looking good on the wedding day and arranging a bachelorette. You might be asked to do a little for her as well in the form of extra requests.
Steering a smooth course
As the bridesmaid, your chief concern is as a wing-lady to a smooth wedding. This is a demanding role, with extra requests that might be surprising. You might have to be the one babysitting the photographer. You might have to bring the sewing kit to make any emergency wardrobe fixes. Or you might have to keep a list of backup vendors on you in case there are any no-shows. The most important role you have is to help deal with the stress of organizing the whole thing when the bride can’t take it all herself.
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Being the second pair of eyes
The bride will have half-a-hundred ideas of what she wants for her wedding. More than once, she’s going to have trouble deciding. That’s where you come in. Note: don’t say “no” to anything she wants. Instead, help her decide between two “yeses”. If she doesn’t know what she wants, then you can also be a huge help in finding vendors for her as well.
Yesterday I stumbled upon an article in the New York Post about bridesmaids and the title caught my eye: “Bridesmaids under pressure to get fit for ‘picture-perfect’ wedding day.” Before I even clicked the link, I knew I was in store for some total bull shit, and boy was I right!
The article has me livid because, spoiler alert, the brides interviewed want a perfect wedding day. That perfect day includes perfect pictures, with perfectly “fit” bridesmaids. Which means these brides see no harm in “encouraging” (yes that’s the word they use) their bridesmaids to lose weight.
Oh no she didn’t ask her to lose weight!?
I am not even kidding when I say the article contains the sentence, “even one bridesmaid who just gave birth could stand to lose a few pounds.”
Excuse our language but; you’ve got to be fucking kidding me?
Hold onto your seats though, because there is also this gem of advice from that same bride to her guests:
“I need everyone on board,” says Barton, a 30-year-old p.r. executive who lives in downtown Brooklyn. “I want my guests to invest in their appearances, feel pretty, go buy the dress of their dreams and feel confident in themselves. I want everyone to feel and look beautiful.”
So yes, some brides even think they can control what their guests look like on their special day. Extending the pressure to lose weight to anyone that attends their wedding. News flash darling, you can only control yourself.
In honor of mother’s day here in the US, we teamed up with blogger Debbie of Deb’s World to find out what it’s really like to be the mother of the bride (MOB) on wedding day, especially when you have three daughters.
Mother of the Bride
Having three daughters I guessed we’d be in the market for at least one wedding, if not more! My husband always promoted the ‘ladder’ but no one took him up on the offer. The ladder was his way of saying they could elope, which would be a lot cheaper for us!
Our daughters haven’t followed in previous generation’s footsteps by marrying young. I was 19, my mother was 20 and her mother, my grandmother, was 18.
Being asked to be a bridesmaid is a fantastic honor as it not only solidifies just how much your friendship means to the bride, but also that she wants you up there with her on the most romantic day of her life. However, while you’re brushing tears away from your eyes, jumping up and down and squealing over her handcrafted ‘will you be my bridesmaid’ gift box it’s all too easy to say yes! You may be thinking, well, why wouldn’t I? But it’s often only once the excitement has died down and you’ve had a chance to look through everything that you actually see just how much work goes into planning a wedding – even if you’re not the one who’s getting married!
Who Pays For What?
It’s an uncomfortable conversation for anyone but before you get busy clearing your social calendar you need to consider your finances. As we’ve said weddings aren’t cheap. You may be required to contribute a significant amount towards the event. This could include outfits, hotel costs, flights, and a gift for the happy couple. Dresses can range from $100 to $500, and the price could be even more if they’re being designed from scratch. Many brides try to keep expenses down, and often try to cover as much as they can to show their appreciation for the bridal party.
As a bride, you have a million things on your to do list before walking down the aisle. One of the things that should be fun is creating gift bags for your bridesmaids. Obviously you couldn’t imagine your wedding day without them, so you’ll want to find perfect items to show your appreciation.
Well there’s always booze (champagne, yay!), jewelry, and gift cards. However, we’re here to help you create the Ultimate Bridesmaid Gift Bag, and it takes some really special gifts to make our list.
The most important part of creating the perfect gift bag is to make sure it’s something your bridesmaids will want to use again and again. Gifts that will remind them of the joy of your wedding, long after the day is gone.
To help inspire you, we have teamed up with some amazing companies to create our own Ultimate Bridesmaid Gift Bag. Even more exciting is we’ve giving you a chance to win one of your own! (Giveaway ended May 17, 2017 but read on for discount codes.)