How To Make Sure You Avoid Wedding Chaos

 In Advice, Professionals Confess!

Planning a wedding is stressful, but it really doesn’t have to be. If you really want to, you can avoid wedding chaos, and it’s as simple as how you look at things. Are you sure that you are focusing on the right things? To help us explore this topic, we asked Colleen of O’Neil Events to share some of her wedding experiences.

How to Make Sure You Avoid Wedding Chaos

About Colleen

My name is Colleen O’Neil, and I am the owner of O’Neil Events, a DC Wedding Planning company specializing in Day of Wedding planning. My favorite part of wedding planning is all the smiles! I know that is so cliche, but it’s the truth! There is nothing like seeing the couple see each other for the first time on their wedding day. Emotions (aka stress) is always the highest right before the ceremony, but something happens are soon as that ceremony begins. I can see the stress and worry melt away.

Trying to Avoid Wedding Chaos

When it comes to weddings, I’ve seen a lot! One wedding, we had an issue with the cake. It was so warm in the room, the icing started to get soft, and the layers were starting to move. I knew I only had a few minutes to make a move before the cake was on the ground. So we just cut the cake during the salad course! I mean, why not? Since everyone was already seated, getting the guest’s attention to cut the cake was easy.  Then we were able to whisk the cake into the backroom before anything happened!

When I have had issues with people involved, I have tried to distract by taking away attention from the drama. Find a way to have everyone else focus on something else, especially the bride. You always want to make sure she is happy, and avoid wedding chaos from happening. I will pull the bride away and get her involved with something to bring her back to a happy place!

Avoid Wedding Chaos - Wedding Cake

Let Go of Little Issues

So how do you avoid wedding chaos and stay in your happy place? I tell my brides to remember that your guest has no idea how everything is “supposed” to look or flow. You will notice that the flower arrangement you wanted for the card table is now on the dessert table. Guess who has no idea? Any of your guest! All your guest are going to remember is how happy you look and how much fun they are having. If you don’t worry or get upset, neither will your guest! Only you know all of those specific details, so let it go and focus on enjoying your day.

Bridesmaid Experiences

I have been a bridesmaid three times so far, and each experience has been fantastic and also so different. I enjoyed being a bridesmaid, but it was also challenging for me. As a planner, I am used to being in charge and making the decisions. When you are in a wedding party, everything is a shared responsibility, and not one person is really “in charge.” It can get tricky because everyone has different ideas (and budgets). Overall, I was lucky because I enjoyed the girls that were in the various bridal parties with me. Many were friends before the wedding which did make the planning of the activities a bit easier!

Bridesmaid Drama

Personally, I’ve never seen any significant drama, just some “polite” drama as I like to call it. All of the different bridesmaids are trying to nicely convince the other bridesmaids why their idea is the best idea. And sometimes people take not using their suggestions personally. There can be a lot of eye-rolling, and side comments made. Everyone needs to keep in mind, emotions are also high for the bridal party. Most of any actual drama is between the siblings. Isn’t that always how it goes?!

Everyone needs to be able to go with the flow. Keep in mind that every decision should be with the bride in mind. You are there to help the bride make her day as stress-free as possible. If there is every any drama between the bridesmaids, make sure the bride doesn’t find out!

You can find Colleen at the following places: O’Neil Events | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

Colleen of ONeil Events

Photo Credit: Headshot Evelyn Alas Photography | Instagram

Photo Credit: Bride’s Smile Meghan Rose Photography | Instagram

What do you think of these tips to avoid wedding chaos? Share with us in the comments.

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Showing 37 comments
  • Katie

    Ha I bet you have seen it all! My wedding was absolute chaos – it is quite a story! It might just beat anything you have witnessed in fact!!!

  • Heather

    Great tips! I had a miscommunication with the florist (my wedding colors were champagne & dark red), well my flowers showed up bright orange & green! My mom has a background in flower arranging, so she quickly made bouquets for me, and we used the other flowers to decorate the ladies restroom! Haha. 😉

  • alexandra

    Ugh, I wish my planner would have offered me the great advice you detail here. My planner was AWFUL and I felt alllll the wedding chaos. It’s important to remember to relax and remember that none of your guests know what your wedding is ‘supposed’ to look like. thank you for the great read!

  • Angela Amores

    These are some really good tips. Yes to not sweating the small stuff because at the end of the day you probably won’t really remember that when you think of the big day. I loved your idea to save the cake. I’m all for eating cake whenever. Great post!!

    • Reply

      We cut our cake right after we entered the room. I thought it was a nice way to make sure cake was served right after the food. The time people are most likely to eat it. Worked like a charm as well only had maybe a dozen slices left over.

  • JLyn

    These are great ideas. We worked hard to keep our wedding simple, which included not having a wedding party. This minimized drama and expense. We had very few complications and we were able to enjoy our special day with relatively little stress!

    • Reply

      I have seen more than a few weddings eliminate the bridal party. They all say it keeps the drama to a minimum! Why can’t we all just get along? LOL

      • Colleen, O'Neil Events

        I have seen that and that is certainly a way to decrease drama. I have worked weddings with 10+ attendants on each side! That is a lot!

  • Leigh Suznovich

    These tips ring so true, love them! We tried really hard to avoid any and all drama and for the most part were succesful.

  • Angela Noel

    Good idea on cutting the cake early! And I think you’re absolutely right, no one knows how it’s “supposed” to be, so how it is is just perfect! That’s true of writing blog posts, throwing a party, or celebrating a marriage.

  • Ritu Bhathal

    Lots of great tips here!
    Organising a wedding is one of the most stressful things you can organise, if you let it get to you.
    But if you can step back, and let go of certain things, it all falls into place!

  • Josy A

    Lots of good tips, especially not to sweat the small stuff! Weddings are sooo fun if you manage to ignore the drama and just have fun with your friends and family. 🙂

  • Annie

    These are good tips! Hopefully it ends up being a good day for everyone 🙂

  • Harmony, Momma To Go

    I’m sure she has lots of great stories of wedding chaos! Of course you dont want that to happen to you have your cake sliding down the tray! I think its part of personality too – let small things slide, have a good attitude and early planning!

    • Reply

      My cake knife broke off in the wedding cake! It was actually the funniest thing that happened at my wedding and I love that memory. Melted cake on the other hand, probably not something I would’ve enjoyed. It’s great to have a planner that thinks so quick on their feet.

  • Amber

    Ugh, weddings are so stressful. I like the wedding cake tip of cutting early because the frosting was melting. You just have to wing it sometimes and at the end of the day, all that matters is that the newlyweds are happy!

  • Samantha Leigh Kresz

    My friends and family and I are all coming to the age where everyone is getting married. These are some really great tips that I will have to remember when the wedding chaos really begins!!

  • AmberLynn

    This is good. I have been to weddings without drama and chaos, and I have been to some very chaotic weddings. Guests can tell, and it’s not a fun experience. I could only imagine how the brides would feel.

    • Reply

      The guests don’t need to know anything is wrong! Just keep as much to yourself as you can. Hence why bridesmaids need to keep drama from the bride until AFTER the wedding.

  • Courtney Byers

    I love this! This is such great advice. Luckily I didn’t have any major wedding drama, but I just let it go when it happened.

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